Up late, I’m listening to the same song on repeat. I’m listening because it reminds me of you, lyrics and habit. You find a song and replay it until ears bleed and tunes get stuck in heads. I hate it yet here I am, replaying the song as I write. Allowing you to be my muse even with miles between us.
I’m writing to let you know that when you called me a “beautiful soul” and constantly questioned why I didn’t see this; you changed your tune, telling me that you want me to see myself through your eyes. I’m sure you’re not the first to see this brilliance in me but you’re the first to tell me.
I wouldn’t have trusted them. I wouldn’t have given the chance to get into my head, on repeat. Compliments that don’t sit on the surface but sink deep into me, lighting places that haven’t seen any in years. People who says those things want something else. They want your guard down so they can use your energy against you. I’ve been there so I stopped believing them. Especially from boys who’d later ask me for pictures because you know, I’m a sweet person and it would make them happy. Make me special. Make us …something or another.
“I won’t let my guard down for anyone but you” I’ve never trusted an interpretation of who I am but I trust yours. Allowing me to be who I am with room for growth because no one can really define a beautiful soul.