“I almost thought I was gonna be your boo at one point.” I resisted the urge to laugh in his face. One point was years ago, before I moved nearly 3 times, before my parents nasty divorce, when I had the ability to dye my hair damn near any color without worrying about finding a job. Years ago.
I won’t fault him though. I remember the days when our conversations lasted hours. Phone calls like we were back in jr high. Just talking about everything and nothing. Listening to me fall asleep. I won’t deny the fact that I felt we would date too. I thought you would make an amazing boyfriend.
As time went on, I moved on. I didn’t let myself get stuck on you. I had been there before. Done that. I dated someone else. Loved him fiercely but there you were in the background, sending drunk messages telling me how much you loved me. You loved me fiercely. Or so you say you did. You wanted to marry me. I told you let me go.
Countless times you expressed gratitude for my friendship. My ability to ignore your sexual passes made me a wonderful partner in crime I suppose. One minute I’d listen to you vent, the next you would wanted to be the next person I had sex with. I didn’t understand.
You were the second person to call me a beautiful soul. Now that i look back, I wonder if you meant it because I am or just because I never stood up to tell you that you were wrong for putting me in a situation where I had to choose between a boyfriend and a friend.
I love you. I wrote you letters. I wanted you badly. I thought we would date too. But I’m glad we didn’t. You’re not right for me. I’m probably not right for you either.